Writer's block?

Maybe, kind of, sort of, but not really.  Really what happened is my computer has been acting completely out of control lately.  Basically, it won't stay on.  I am not quite sure why any of this is happening, but for the past few weeks, I have been without a computer.  Life without a laptop is terribly disconcerting, especially when a significant portion of the reason for your existence is centered around your computer. (Okay, maybe that's a stretch, but I am a photographer and if I have no computer, I have no way of doing anything for or with my images and it is a bad scene.)

Besides being unable to upload my photography, I have not really been able to do much in terms of fundraising for this marathon I am running in nearly 3 Months.  I am still nowhere near my goal of $7000, though I have already raised a lot of money and Thank You!! if you have donated.  But I am trying to organize a benefit in early March, trying to write letters of solicitation and find organizations willing to donate items for an auction, trying to find a venue to host this entire shindig.  All of these things are possible without a computer but they are infinitely more difficult for a person who has grown up with a keyboard at her fingertips.  Also, I have basically no idea what I am doing, and for whatever reason, I at least feel like I am accomplishing something when I am Googling things and typing letters and reading about training plans on different running websites.

Oh, running.  Of course, there has been running.  At least, there had been running up until about this past Saturday, when I started getting that obnoxious scratch right at the back of my throat, surely you know the one: you swallow, and your throat burns and itches a bit; it becomes more difficult to consume solid foods because there seems to be a little swelling happening at the base of your tongue.  And it can all only mean one thing: despite all my best efforts, prayers, and vitamin C consumption, I have fallen prey to the dreaded winter cold.  I know exactly what happened, too.  I stayed out too late on New Year's Eve, worked too many hours the following week, started running farther distances (8 miles!), and I walk or bike everywhere regardless of the time or weather because I don't have a car.  On top of all this business, the reality is that my immune system is depleted, and there is nothing I can do about it.  So, while maybe not inevitable, the chances of my catching a stupid bug are pretty high.  The good news is that I am babying myself, drinking absurd quantities of water, and I had my three-weekly infusion of immunotherapy yesterday, so that should hopefully help.

I was supposed to have run 10 miles this past weekend.  I did not.  I actually ran 2 miles yesterday before stopping, doubled over in pain because had I thought it would be a good idea to eat not-exactly-lean chicken thighs and some avocado as a pre-run snack.  It was not.  Fats: not good to eat before a run.  Fact: your gut will hate you.  Today it is snowing all over the place in Denver.  It will be a nice walk to work, but no run today, either.  Hopefully tomorrow I can get my stuff together and make it happen.  Otherwise, it will be back in the 50s this weekend, and I still have to get my 10 miles in.

So, life.  This life we live is full of obstacles and setbacks and too often things don't go exactly how we would like them to.  But we are still here, still living and breathing (and coughing?) and running and getting through each day as best as we can.  Which, really, I suppose is all we can ask of ourselves.  So, best of luck to you today.  Like I said, it is a winter wonderland in Denver today, and I am in love with life even though it is so frustrating all of the time.  10 miles will happen eventually.

Less thinking, more running....

Cost-Benefit analysis

The benefit of taking a few days off vs. the cost of taking a few days off.  While probably not advisable all the time, I didn't run the past four days.  Blame it on mild injuries or hormones or just plain laziness, but there it is.  The cost - I ate too much and felt guilty every day that I didn't run.  Today, however, I was mentally and physically ready to go out and run.  It helped that it was sunny and something like 40 degrees outside.  So I stepped out my door and plugged through 6.5 miles.  (!)  That's the farthest I've run since before Christmas.  The benefit - Having been given a bit of a break, my body was healed and ready to go for a longer run, even though I haven't logged a long run in quite a few weeks.  In this instance, the benefit of my lassitude outweighed the cost.  I don't feel broken or winded or that I overdid it today either.

There is a couple in our little town who runs every day.  Or 6 days a week, at the least.  I'm not sure if they are any more, but I know they used to be relatively competitive, running Boston a few times.  I have nearly limitless admiration for these two, partly because of their dedication, but also because they're really nice people.  Nothing gets in the way of their morning runs.  Even last week, when the morning's temperatures were somewhere around 0 degrees (yes, Zero), they were out.  Although, on Thursday she qualified, "We only did about four miles this morning."  Right.  No big deal.

Perhaps their bodies are so finely tuned that they don't need to take any stretches of time off or only rarely.  Their morning runs are just a thing like any other thing they do during their day.  Wake up, run, breakfast, work, etc.  It is their routine.  So what am I missing that I can't incorporate running into my daily routine?  I suppose part of my problem is that my days are not routine.  My work schedule changes almost weekly, and I work funky hours: 4:30 a.m. to 1 p.m., 7 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., 1-9:30 p.m.  Certainly no 9-5, certainly not "routine" in the traditional sense of the word.

At least I do run.  The weather is slowly turning around; I will be running more and soon.  Today's run was heartening because it means that I'm not as much of a slouch as I feared.  I've shaken off my January sinus infection, and I'm beating my IT band pain.  Let's see if I can squeeze in another bit of a run tomorrow...  Thinking less, running more.  Loving it.

Made it happen today.

Today's temperature reached a whopping 28 degrees Fahrenheit, more than warm enough for a jog through my idyllic snow-covered and slick suburban streets.  Or something...  I didn't get an hour in, more like 45 minutes, but still, I'm pleased with my 4.6 miles.  It was a pretty glaring reminder, though, that I am very far behind in my training for this upcoming race.  And whatever progress I made today I am currently eating away at with my Starbucks' milk chocolate graham cookies.  Mmm, so good.

But the run wasn't great.  For some fun reason, when I run in the cold, my nasal passages constrict and I cannot breathe through my nose at All.  I dunno; it's just unpleasant.  Maybe I'm a "fair-weather" runner, but I really do not like running outside in winter.  My self-preservation instinct is considerably stronger than my desire to run.  I read some article once explaining that our bodies are programmed to seek the easiest, safest route to the longest life.  Running, especially distance running, places a tremendous amount of stress on our bodies.  It isn't fun, and in the 21st century, it is no longer a necessity for survival.  We impose powerful mental blocks against running, and when faced with the prospect of venturing outside into below-freezing temperatures wearing naught but a few thin layers of wicking fabric, it is almost physically impossible to get out the door.  At least, this is what I've found.  And getting out the door really is the hardest part.  Once you've over come that block, once you've started to move and warm up and regain feeling in your toes, the endorphins kick in and it really isn't that bad.

Supposedly it takes three weeks to form a habit.  Today was a good start.  Tomorrow it is supposed to be snowing, but I've got a back up.  I am taking my workout clothes with me to work, and I am going straight to the gym from work.  That is the plan.  The goal.  To get to the gym.  Once there, we'll see how long I can run for.  Shooting for 35 minutes.  Right.  Less thinking; more running.  Go.